Tag Archives: Autism

November 6, 2023 · 11:00 pm

Late Nights and Helpless Feelings

There are always the questions, Will he ever…? Fill in the blank. When our babies are born, we have a million big dreams for them. Then, as they grow and their struggles become more and more obvious, those dreams change. No longer do you wonder if he will be a lawyer or a doctor. You wonder if they will be able to hold a job or live independently. You grieve what you dreamed for your child and learn to accept the new reality. Overall, what your child does makes no difference. You just want them to be happy.

You just want them to be happy. That struck me this week. When was the last time he was happy? He is so angry all the time. If you ask him to do something, he responds in anger. If he isn’t being entertained, he responds in anger. Even his preferred activities trigger anger. Today, he actually responded angrily when I responded ‘yes, you may’ to a question he asked. I threw my hands up. It doesn’t matter what I do, it seems like he is never going to be happy.

I have asked myself, is it lack of sleep? He’s a terrible sleeper and I know that I am a stark raving lunatic when I don’t sleep. Is it his blood sugar and all that? I mean, after all, he can’t feel well. We’ve been running in circles trying to manage all of those things, with no answers.

I have caught myself trying to create happiness. I am guilty of buying him things he does NOT need, just to see him smile. This week I bought him a scooter, because the bike is causing far too much anxiety. He slammed the door and flung himself onto his bed yelling that he hates us. I started crying. I honestly thought he would be excited to be able to keep up with his dad and brother when they gone outside. The number of places we can go, ones he used to enjoy, are getting smaller and smaller.

He has the BEST smile, the cutest dimples. I know, I have the pictures to prove it. I looked back, because surely I have some recent pictures of him happy. Even the ones of him smiling (because he knows it will take longer if he doesn’t cooperate), there is no joy behind his eyes. The most recent picture I have showing an actual moment of happiness is from 3 months ago. Everything else you can see he’s going through the motions, but not truly feeling it.

I am so tired of spending our days bracing for the outbursts. Watching Max give in or shy away to avoid confrontation with his brother. I am sick of dealing with medicines that, while I know they are necessary (the alternative is far worse), don’t really do anything. “Support” services… that’s a joke in itself. People who say ALL the meaningless things.

I just want him to be happy. Why can’t he be happy? It doesn’t seem like that should be such a hard thing to ask for. Does it? It’s really hard for Mama to be happy when her boy isn’t. Sigh, off to bed… with the never ending hope that tomorrow will be better.

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October 28, 2023 · 12:34 pm

A Dad’s Point of View

Guest Post by DadBean

I am the father of two boys with special needs. When I say this, I feel I must clarify because I immediately receive a look of pity as co-workers imagine the ‘worst case’ scenarios we have come to associate with those two words. I follow that up with ‘they have ASD but are on the high end of the spectrum’. Those that don’t know what I mean simply nod and move on. Those that understand acknowledge and typically seek further information outside of whatever context we were meeting under. To be fair, this is not how I identify myself off the bat. It is an add-on to explain why, at some point, I may have to drop what I am doing to restrain a nine year-old who is trying to put a hole in his wall because his shoes were not in the exact spot, he believed them to be. Spoiler: He left them in the car after throwing a fit the day before.


Before we focus on the present, I think it best to rewind and start where every story should start – at the beginning. Don’t fret, I am not going to ramble on about my childhood. It was normal and very fulfilling. If there is any underlying trauma, it is still very deep. I will start this story with the lead up to and diagnoses of our eldest child, who is now 11. I had always wanted children growing up, so when we finally got the news, I was ecstatic. Max would be awesome and, when he grew up, we would do things. The actual things were a bit hazy, but like all parents, I want my children to do something amazing. Even before ASD, I knew I wasn’t going to shove them into something they didn’t want to do. My parents were, and still are, supportive of what I do, and I promised I was going to do the same with mine. I had seen the movies and TV shows that portrayed overzealous parents and where that goes. While I understood they were scripted events, I also knew there is a kernel of truth to be had in those stories. If you push too hard and force someone to do something they don’t want to do, it’s not going to end well.


I am thankful for my wife. She has her Master’s in Elementary Education, so once you add on the extra layer of being a new mother it was only a matter of time before she realized something was off. Me, having zero experience with children or what milestones should be when, acknowledged that ‘yeah, Max can’t talk, but every baby is different’. She continued to worry as more and more milestones were missed. This is where I must acknowledge something, I am a very laid-back person. Yes, there things I worry about, but they slide off easily. My wife on the other hand, is perpetually worried. Every noise, every sound, every smell is a natural disaster waiting to happen.


Eventually, it was decided to begin the evaluation process which involved a lot of paperwork and personality tests. Does Max do ‘X’ never, rarely, often, sometimes, or always. Some were easy to answer, some required further discussion and flip flopping between answers. Did he do that often or sometimes? What is the actual difference between the two? Would the doctors not give a diagnosis if sometimes was marked instead of often? It was too much, especially when you are trying to peel back the layers of personality for a five-year-old.


When we finally got the official diagnosis that Max is on the spectrum, my wife went into full research mode. Trying to figure out how to best handle the future that was to come and while, on an intellectual level, I knew it would mean stuff would be different, it didn’t phase me. He is still my kid. I take solace in the fact that it is indeed a spectrum and he, and later my other son, would fall on the farther end where simple ant hills would now equate to Mount Everest, but there is a whole other range that could make life so much harder on everyone.The big surprise came when Jackson came along. He hit and missed different milestones than his brother, but my wife didn’t seem to have the same worries that she did with Max. Yes, he was ‘normal’ but with the anger of the Hulk to back it up. It could come out of nowhere and for seemingly no reason. We had dealt with (and still do) angry outbursts with Max, but the Jackson’s outbursts were scary. This time it was me who would hone in on a behavior and be like isn’t this a thing? Maybe we should get him tested? We eventually did and shocker, he also fell on the spectrum.


The funny thing about taking those tests was how many of the questions I identified with. Now, I’m not claiming to have autism, but I also didn’t grow up during a period where it was widely diagnosed. I don’t like looking people in the eyes, and I constantly need something to fidget with or I get restless. I love having a plan for the day and woe to the person that throws that plan off, no matter how slight of deviation it is. I watch Jackson spin around sometimes and laugh because there is nothing more freeing than closing my eyes and spinning my head around. The water containers must be lined up a specific way otherwise the day is completely shot and I might as well go back to bed. Do I fall on the spectrum Maybe. According to most of the articles, websites and people who talk about the subject, they say it is partly genetic.


So, this is where I stand. I have two children, diagnosed with the same neurodivergent label and yet they are completely different in attitudes, desires and level of care required. On one hand, you have the worried mother who handles the day-to-day operations of the household. On the other, a laidback father that tries to maintain order whenever possible. Oh, and I almost forgot to mention the puppy we introduced to the family at the end of 2022, months before we moved into a new house. Let the good times roll.

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September 26, 2023 · 8:12 am

Sometimes, You NEED to Run Away

I have struggled to write here for awhile. I haven’t been in a very good headspace. It’s been rough. I know many who write as a form of therapy. I do write for therapy, but not the kind of writing you’d find on this blog. Those who know me know I am pretty much an open book when it comes to the joys and difficulties in our world. However, there is a lot that is just too difficult to share. It’s hard to be that raw and I have a hard time discerning what is even appropriate to share. What are things that I wouldn’t want my parents to share about what I did as a child?

Recently, I was given the gift of time away. Thanks to The More Than Project, my amazing family and wonderful new friends, I was able to join 100 other women lakeside in beautiful Wisconsin to connect, laugh, cry and breathe for the first time in a long time. Okay, I cry all the time, but this was different…

First of all, the weather in Wisconsin in September kicks Arizona’s butt! No contest, it was BEAUTIFUL. I haven’t done anything on my own in over 13 years. 5 days of not having to care for anyone but myself was AMAZING! I was able to hug friends that I’ve only met online in person. There was no screaming, no aggression, no trying to meet everyone else’s needs. After the first 24 hours of panic attacks subsided… gonna need to see a doctor about that… my nerves were able to unwind for the first time in a REALLY long time.

A funny thing happens when you step back, share your story and listen to others share theirs. You gain perspective. 

What I learned while during my time away…

1. You can’t always see the improvement when you are in it. 

Pieces of Me

But when you step out of that chaos, you find yourself in conversations and you start to realize Wait, last week he did xyz or he said such and such. I didn’t recognize it at the time, but that’s huge! I had so many lightbulb conversations that made me realize we are making progress and I DO have reasons to hang on to hope. They aren’t big steps, but I learned a long time ago, our steps are going to be small, in our own time and place. We can’t and we can’t and we can’t, until we do.

Autism is HARD, aggression is HARD, Anxiety, ADHD and all the other letters in the alphabet soup that we call our life are HARD. I joke that I have PTSD and I’m starting to think it’s not a joke. When you are always on guard and prepped for fight or flight, it’s difficult to see the improvements. When things are exploding on a daily basis, it’s difficult to imagine that it can be any different. I see pictures of how things used to be and I get really sad and hopeless.

2. My family actually survived without me. 

I say this jokingly, except not really. Jack and my husband struggle. Like A LOT. When Jack gets angry, he goes after his dad 90% of the time. I am his calm (if you can call it that)… and, to be honest, it sucks. Because, for the past year, I haven’t felt its been safe to be away from him…ever. It isn’t healthy. We recently made a med change. Which we knew was either going to be really good or REALLY bad. But, you get to the point when you have to walk away and care for yourself and whatever happens, happens. 

Thankfully, everyone did great. It sounds like things were very calm, most of the time. There were no cops called, no one ran away (that I know of), the house wasn’t set on fire and everyone was alive when I returned. I call that a WIN! I joke that I will be leaving more often, now. 

This week, I have seen Jack think of others before himself more than once (HUGE!), use his words to tell us he’s frustrated and overwhelmed, and he gave dad an unsolicited hug… probably for the first time ever. Today, he willingly went on an errand with dad alone. If for no other reason than seeing such an improvement in their relationship, my trip was worth it. 

3. I have the most amazing husband in the world.

Okay, he told me to write that…kind of. But, he does have this really annoying habit of telling me what I was already planning on saying. Not only did he pretty much have to light a fire under my behind to make me actually go, but I was able to see how much he really does care for his family. Now, don’t get me wrong, I never doubted that. But we all know when a group of women get together there is a certain amount of griping and complaining that tends to happen in regards to how dense and senseless husbands can be. 

Something interesting happened. Someone would comment on how she wished her husband would do more of something and I’d think, ‘Well, I can’t complain about that because mine does that.’ This happened often and I realized how, even though I feel like I take on the brunt of the boys care, he supports me more than he’s given credit for. I have someone who is truly in this with me and I am very grateful for that. 

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August 13, 2023 · 12:50 pm

Looking For the Joy

I am a realist. I call it as I see it. I am pretty much an open book. If it’s a crappy day, I am not going to pretend otherwise. I am also a teacher. So, if I see an area that can be improved on, I will say something. I have often been received as rude or complaining…over critical is a phrase I have heard a lot. I try not to come across critical or condescending. That really isn’t my intent. 

This morning I had a moment with Jackson. These days, he is unhappy…I would say… 90% of the time. This morning it came out as entitled, self righteous and plain bitter. I told him I was sad for him. I couldn’t imagine how it felt to be unhappy SO much of the time. I told him that it makes me sad because I know that will cause him to be lonely, because people don’t like being around someone who is that angry all the time. Making friends is hard enough. 

We had this conversation in the car. As I continued to drive, I thought I REALLY hope that isn’t how I come across to others. I don’t think it is. Hopefully, I am not in denial. I thought about how last night I watched videos of him as a toddler in my facebook memories and how amazing his laughter sounded. Mostly, it made me wonder what happened and how do I get my happy boy back? 

These days, I live for that 10% of the time. He has the BEST smile. He is smart and SO funny. 10% of the time he’s an absolute joy to be around. The rest of the time, I feel like I am living in a constant state of tension. Always on the edge, always ready for fight or flight.

**I wrote this last month. I let it sit as I struggled to find a way to end it. Until I realized, this is a journey and it doesn’t have an ending. I can’t tie this up into a happy little bow with amazing words of wisdom. It is where we sit right now. Hopefully, I can get back to writing about our joyful moments. But for now, it’s hard, it’s exhausting and we are looking for our joy.

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July 6, 2023 · 7:45 pm

Is It Worth It?

What a year… 

It’s funny, I have literally never in my life been at a loss for words, but here I am. Telling myself for months to write. That it will be good for me. Writing has always be therapeutic for me. My escape. My ‘me’ time. 

I think it’s because writing has always been my way of finding hope in tough situations. I am REALLY struggling to find the hope this year. Recap, since I haven’t really been sharing. 2 hospital visits, one for each kid… mental health scares and major medication mistake due to lack of understanding of basic cause and effect… ALWAYS.be.on.guard. Things that should be simple are just never simple in this world. I think that is breaking my heart the most. Major aggressions, manipulation, threatening, lying. We’ve been on lock down and have had to lock up our lives. So sharing is hard. We started, and stopped, ABA. We’ve been riding the medication roller coaster. We’ve had blood tests come back bad and are still waiting on appointments to see what that means. We’ve called the police and we’ve gone through a glass window. We burned out. I burned out. 

We stopped ALL the things. We moved. In two months time we made the decision to move, sold our house and found a new one. It was fast. We LOVE our new place, but it was fast! It was something that needed to happen. For our sanity, our future, and our family relationships.

We are still settling in. Working on a routine. We’ve had a few “good” days. I really struggle this time of year seeing all the families post their summer vacations. The exciting places they get to take their kids. That’s just not how our world works and I get so caught up in emotion. Even the small things we try are just SO hard. I have found that it’s just easier to stay home, not plan anything. Less screaming, less frustration, less disappointment. Don’t get me wrong, I feel plenty of disappointment, but the disappointment of not doing something is less than planning something and have it blow up in your face. 

Okay, see…this is why I haven’t shared lately. No one wants to read my pity party. Don’t get me wrong, we’ve had good moments. But what I am finding is we don’t have good days. We have good moments. So for now, as we have everything on hold, we are learning to cherish those moments. Fleeting as they may be. We are celebrating the small adventures. Like yesterday, when we went out for ice cream and my husband commented that the boys were actually having a conversation with each other in the back seat the entire way there. How afterwards, they couldn’t stop giggling. It was a glorious sound. The went into Mr. Man’s room and watched a movie…together, like brothers do. Tonight we sat on the patio, in the 100 degree heat and had a picnic. We taught the boys to play corn hole. We got one game, one game before the frustration hit. I feel like Dory in Finding Nemo “Good feelings gone!” 

I guess I am learning that whatever we do, whatever we plan, we do for as long as it lasts. Even if that is just a few minutes out of the day. Because when we are done, we are done. If I try to make the moment last longer, I typically regret it. 

I am not there yet. I am still learning. Dang, if it’s not hard that everything is always SO hard. Even the simple things are hard. If you are a ASD parent, I know you know exactly what I mean. The constant questioning of is this worth it, because we know it’s going to be hard and it’s going to be exhausting. The feeling of always being ON, no matter what you are trying to do. How simply sitting around relaxing on the weekend can change dramatically without warning. It’s like you are never able to really breath. 

If you aren’t a special needs parent, be patient with your friends who are. They don’t want to miss out. They don’t want to feel shut-in. They are most likely just REALLY tired and asking themselves…is it worth it?

Deep in my heart, I know it is. It is worth it. But wow, I am tired! 

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October 7, 2022 · 9:57 am

Forever Boy by Kate Swenson

I ordered Forever Boy as soon as I heard it was being published and read it within 24 hours of Amazon delivering it to my doorstep. Mind you, this is the first book I have given myself permission to read in quite a long time. The boys require so much of my attention during the day and I am usually exhausted by the time they are asleep.

In Forever Boy, Kate describes the journey her family has been on. Her son was diagnosed with Severe Nonverbal Autism. My boys both also have an Autism diagnosis; however, all three boys are very different. What I loved about Forever Boy is that it spoke straight to my Mama heart. Our boys may different, they have different struggles and our day to day looks completely different, but the words she wrote still rang true.

I ended up reading much of the book aloud to my husband through tears (just to be clear, Harry Potter can make me cry these days!) Each time he would comment “You’ve said that exact same thing a million times” or “Wow, that sounds familiar.” This is what makes Forever Boy so moving. It’s relatable, no matter where the child is on the spectrum.

I appreciate Kate’s honesty. She is real about how her son’s diagnosis has affected her marriage, her family relationships, her friendships, and her emotions. She talks about BOTH the joys and the struggles of life with Autism. The world tells us Autism Mamas that we need to be joyful about our kids’ diagnosis. Kate shares how she came to find joy, but doesn’t shy away from the stuff that we aren’t supposed to talk about.

Within her pages, Kate gives you permission to be real, to worry, celebrate, cry, or get angry, when the world says you need to smile and pretend like everything is wonderful. Goodness knows I have felt all of those things, sometimes within a few minutes of each other. In the last chapter, Kate talks about grief and allowing yourself to feel it. I firmly believe that in order to move forward, you must allow yourself to process these feelings. Toxic positivity isn’t helpful to anyone. Kate urges us to be the person we needed in the beginning.

If you are a parent of a child on the spectrum, you should read this book. You are not alone. If you are an extended family member of a child on the spectrum, you should read this book. It will help you understand what your loved ones live. If you work with a child on the spectrum, you should read this book. It will help you better understand the families you support. If you are a human, you should read this book. It will help you gain new perspective and be a kinder, more understanding person.

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July 30, 2022 · 11:20 pm

Just Be Kind

I wanted to take a moment and share something that happened last week…

But first, I want to start by saying that I know how lucky I am.

My boys are Autistic. Chances are you know someone who is Autistic. The current rate of Autism is 1 in 44. Think about that. 1 in 44. I heard last week that, due to teacher shortages, our local elementary schools will have 40 kids to a classroom. That means, statistically, there will be one child with Autism in every classroom. I was reading an estimate that by 2025 the rate will be 1 in 2. That is still sinking in.

Why am I lucky? Chances are when you think about what you know about Autism, whether that be from stereotype or personal experience, what you picture isn’t pleasant. You might picture stimming or objects being lined up. You might picture kids who can’t speak. You might picture a child having a meltdown. You might go a different direction altogether and picture a brilliantly artistic child, the math genius or musical savant. But, let’s be honest, most people don’t picture the pleasant side of Autism. They picture what they’ve seen, the public meltdowns. This is where I consider myself lucky, if that is even the right term. My boys don’t tend to have public meltdowns.

Don’t get me wrong, they have their meltdowns. Boy, do they! They just tend to hold it together long enough to have them at home, geared toward us. In a place where they feel safe and are with their people. I consider this lucky because I typically don’t have to deal with the world watching our absolute worst moments.

Don’t get me wrong. I get it. Those who see Monkey get mad and take a swing at mom, they don’t see a child with Autism. They see a little boy not getting his way and behaving badly. People see Mr. Man stimming, something he seems to be doing more and more as he gets older, and they don’t understand what he’s doing. It looks strange, if you aren’t use to it. I get it.

To put it simply, most people don’t know how to respond or interact. I get that. Funny thing is, that not knowing how to respond or interact is EXACTLY what my boys struggle with in every single situation. Most people will try not to make eye contact or avoid us. I get it, it’s fine. I honestly prefer those who ignore us to those with the made-up PHDs that try to bestow us with their genius advice.

He just needs a hug (Um….sure if I want to get punched in the face.)

Really, he needs consistent discipline (Oh, they have PLENTY of that. Consistency is our life!)

He really needs less screen time (I am sure he does, but sometimes I just need to get something accomplished without a fist going through a wall. I guarantee he has less screen time than you think).

All this to say, we all know Autism can be hard, we’ve gotten use to the stares, we’ve heard the mean and unnecessary comments.

But back to last week…

We were at church. There has been a change to the teachers in the boys’ class. A necessary change, an understandable change, but all change is hard. Monkey was struggling with the change and seeking comfort. In that situation comfort was his brother. Mr. Man didn’t want anything to do with his little brother in that situation and they began to fight. We have been working really hard to get Monkey to understand that if he is getting frustrated with a situation, he can walk away. We clearly need to go back and clarify that because he walked out of class and came to find me. He crossed in front of a woman sitting near us to get to me. Later, after calming him down, I took him back to class. About 10 minutes later, I see one of the teachers walk in. Knowing she was there for me, I get up to leave and catch the woman’s eye as I walk past. Monkey is clearly not able to stay in class and we walk the campus for awhile, stomping on ants (great for anger) and chasing birds.

Eventually, we end up sitting back in service. Headphones in place, I thought we’d be fine… it’s always fine. Until it wasn’t. Monkey decided he wanted my phone. He’s been using it to type to me when he is too upset to talk. I got a lot of angry emoji’s and a few bad words. Then, he decided he was going to play a game. Not wanting to set the precedent of leaving class to play on my phone, I quietly told him no and took my phone. Wrong choice. You see, telling Monkey no isn’t allowed.

I spent the rest of the service keeping him quiet as he either flailed on the floor (a moment in which I wondered to myself at exactly what point in life I had given up on the idea that the floor is dirty) or repeatedly bit my arms. Again, eye contact with the woman nearby. This time, I was the one to quickly look away as I attempted to hold back my own frustration and tears. Church ended and we exited, post haste. I handed Monkey over to my husband so that I could use the restroom, knowing I wouldn’t get another chance until we were all safely home and calm.

As I left the restroom, something happened that I haven’t had happen in ten years of being an Autism parent. The woman who I know was watching the whole episode walked up to me and gave me a big hug. She said these words, which I will never forget, “I don’t understand. I don’t. But I see you, and you are doing great.” Full of frustration and covered in bite marks, I let the tears fall.

I have heard the rude comments, the mean comments, the comments that come from people who can’t understand. But NEVER has someone told me, I don’t understand but I see you and you’re doing great.

Being an Autism parent is isolating. Most of the time we prefer NOT to be seen, because the world isn’t kind. But knowing, in our lowest moments, that we ARE seen and that somebody understands that we are trying our best, even if they don’t understand the situation. That is a priceless feeling.

For those who are uncomfortable with how to respond to us when our kids are having a hard time. Just see us, just now we really are doing so much more than you see, but above all… just be kind. It does so much more than any advice ever will. Just be kind.

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February 11, 2022 · 2:22 pm

Another Season

Autism… again.

Here I leave yet another doctors office after hearing those same words, different child. 

I can honestly say I was simultaneously not at all surprised and still shocked. I mean, I couldn’t  live in our house for the last 4 years and not have seen that coming, but I didn’t think it would come so fast. Sure, I had spent months on the paperwork side trying to get things done. Trying to find a way to help Monkey with his anger before something major happened. But spoken into the world in such a passing and casual way…

I didn’t know what to think.

Sure, I saw the similarities. But they are also SO different. Night and day different. But then isn’t that how it always is? One is sensory avoidant and the other is sensory seeking. One struggles with academics and the other is scary quick. One struggles with anxiety and the other one is so ADHD that I am tired. (That actually came as a side note, ‘Oh, and we are definitely dealing with ADHD, too.’ 😒 You think?) I know the school Psychologist said it last year, but I don’t think I really believed him. I honestly didn’t expect the Psychiatrist to agree so easily.

I didn’t know how to feel.

I could circle back to the millions of questions, but I have already spent too much time there. 

It doesn’t change anything. He’s still the absolute funniest kid I know. He has the absolute best smile. He is the protector, the ‘Dragon Chaser’. The keeper of the time. 

He can also be the angriest kid I have ever met. That is why we started down this path. No child should be that angry. But how do we help him tame that anger?

No, nothing has changed. But perhaps now we can move forward. Have more laughter and smiles than screaming and tears. 

That is my hope for my our future. But, I am pretty sure we are going to need more coffee first.

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January 24, 2021 · 1:07 pm

2021: An Update

As we head into a new year, it has come to my attention that i have fallen off the face of the Earth. No, I am still here, but I have been neglecting my writing and posting. Why? Excuses, excuses, excuses…. Yeah, there are a lot of reasons, but all are poor excuses. Mostly a mix of new endeavors to steal my time and focus. None of which panned out because I was trying to do things via avenues that were not me. Also, I was in a bad mood. I mean 2020….need I say more? I find it very difficult to write when I am in a bad mood.

For this post, I will just give a short update on everyone and talk about where I plan to take this blog this year. My word of the year is Simplicity. We have been working really hard to remember to focus on the simple things. I want to continue this throughout the year.

Mr. Man

Right before the school year started (and I mean RIGHT before) we decided that, as well as homeschooling had served us, there were ways in which I could just not provide what he needed. On top of this, the additional focus Mr. Man needed meant Monkey was not getting the attention he deserved or needed. I could no longer feel like I had to choose between the needs of my children. So, we enrolled Mr. Man in a local Autism school. Yes, in the middle of Covid, when everyone began to turn toward homeschooling, we enrolled him in school. We just can’t do “normal”.

With Covid and remote learning (another post entirely) the year has been anything but normal. However, Mr. Man is currently attending in person and is happy and showing amazing progress. We have never had a time when the mention of going to school didn’t send him into huge meltdowns. He is now brushing his teeth, getting dressed and putting on shoes BY HIMSELF, every morning. That speaks volumes.

Monkey

Monkey is still a challenge. He’s very smart and very stubborn. He hasn’t wanted to do school with mom and we’ve been forced to try different approaches. At this point, Charlotte Mason and Montessori styles have been working the best. It’s been ROUGH to say the least. Mr. Man’s online school schedule threw Monkey’s routine out the window. Monkey has been begging to go to school and we actually looked into enrolling him at a nearby Montessori school for next year. Sadly, have decided against it. He is still struggling with his anger and emotional outbursts. The school didn’t sound too willing to help him with these struggles, even though they claim to work on the social/emotional development of the child, as well as the academic. They expected him to have already acquired these skills prior to enrollment. So, we will continue to school Monkey at home and focus on strengthening his skills and building habits that will help him accomplish his goals.

Mama Bean

I have been learning a lot about myself the past six months. How I function best and my limitations. It’s a slow process, but am seeing forward movement. For now, I remind myself to focus on the simple things in life. Playing basketball with the boys, watching the ducks as we sit by the lake, and enjoying a cup of cocoa with Monkey in the early morning hours before anyone else wakes up.

In 2021, I plan to focus on 3 areas.

  • My health
  • My writing
  • My house (decluttering with purpose)

I hope you join me on this journey. Looking forward to a year of self-improvement and new adventures. What are you looking forward to this year?

 

 

 

 

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September 15, 2019 · 1:05 am

Turing Tumble: A Timberdoodle Review

DSC_0193

In a generation of computers, coding, and engineering, Turing Tumble appears to be a wonderfully fun and unique hands-on learning experience for our children. I was given the opportunity to review this product and am eager to share what the Beans think.

DSC_0194First, what is Turing Tumble? Simply, it is a hands-on logic puzzle that will help our children learn how computers work using coding, switches, bits, binary counting and a lot of problem-solving. The students read through a comic book style activity manual and complete puzzles as they go, all while manipulating components on a puzzle board. Turing Tumble is available at Timberdoodle and is included as part of their 2019 Sixth-Grade Curriculum Kit. 

So what did the Beans think? I wanted to love this product, I truly did. The product and manual are gorgeous and very inviting. I think it has a ton of potential, but sadly it is not for us, at this time. I am not saying it’s a bad product, or that I wouldn’t recommend it for the right family It just doesn’t work for my family, right now. Let me explain in more detail…

The good… DSC_0165

The product is beautiful and really well made. My husband even commented on how impressed he was by the inserts that are included to keep everything neat and organized. He’s a board gamer so inserts are very important. The book is inviting and eye-catching. I like how the puzzles introduce new pieces and scaffold the student’s learning to move them along from puzzle to puzzle. My 5-year-old is my logical child, while he obviously couldn’t read the comic or follow the logic, we did have great conversations about the patterns that were created while working the puzzles.

Why it didn’t work for us…

dsc_0183.jpgMy children are a little young for the product. We knew this when we began, the recommended age for this product is 8+. Mr. Man is 7. However, with ASD he sometimes takes to activities such as this in a way that surprises us all. Sadly, he showed absolutely no interest whatsoever. This is the way of our life, everything is “go big or go home”. One problem he had while we worked through the puzzles was that it was very difficult for him to manipulate the pieces or place the tiny balls due to fine-motor weaknesses. I myself became frustrated at the balls constantly falling when trying to insert them in the starting position. I feel like this could easily be fixed with a small piece of clear plastic on this part of the computer board. Perhaps with a hole to load the balls into. The plastic would keep the balls from constantly popping out of place and requiring one to reset the whole system. I also realized, after we started, that this is a hard activity for a child who struggles with cause and effect.

While this activity was too advanced for my children, my husband and I enjoyed working through the puzzles, to an extent. This activity does not work well for someone with a low frustration tolerance (or a Mama who is trying to reduce stress for medical reasons)! I also believe that it will work better for children who do not give up easily. Some of the puzzles require a lot of trial and error and a good dose of patience.

DSC_0195Who would it work for…

I think this product would be great for the right family. I definitely recommend it for older children who have an interest in computers, logic, and coding. Logical thinkers who enjoy solving puzzles will love Turing Tumble. This would make a great cooperative small group activity. Again, probably best for a child who isn’t easily frustrated. I definitely plan on keeping this one on our shelf to bring out again in a few years.

 

 

 

 

timberdoodle

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